A few weeks ago, I sat across from a thoughtful, successful couple of parents. They’re professionals and very proud of what they’ve built. Midway through the conversation, the husband leaned forward, lowered his voice, and said, “I just don’t want my kids to end up on a beach somewhere blowing through everything we built.”
He laughed.
But he wasn’t joking.
If you’ve ever had that same fear, wondering if the wealth you leave behind will help or hurt your children, you’re not alone. Inheritance strategy questions come up more than you might think, and they deserve more than a boilerplate estate plan. It deserves an honest, human conversation.
The Real Fear Behind the Money
This isn’t about control. It’s about care. Most parents I speak with want to raise capable, grounded people who make good decisions. They’re not worried about spreadsheets but about what happens when real life gets messy.
I’ve seen it go sideways in more ways than one. Examples: One grandchild inherited $200,000. He started with $2,000 here, $1,000 there. Within 18 months, it was gone. Another family of four siblings spent three years fighting over a will that hadn’t been updated in two decades. Legal fees skyrocketed, and the emotional fallout is still unresolved. In another case, a daughter received a million-dollar inheritance, unprotected. Within 30 days of her father’s passing, she was served divorce papers. Half of it walked out the door.
These are real outcomes of well-intentioned plans that didn’t account for real-life complexity.
So, What Can You Do?
Gift your assets while you’re still here! One of the simplest ways to see how someone handles money is to give them some while you’re still around. In 2025, you can gift up to $19,000 per person ($38,000 per couple) without touching your lifetime exemption. You can also pay tuition or medical expenses directly without it counting as a gift. Larger gifts come from your lifetime exemption up to $13.9 million federally, but keep in mind that states like Massachusetts and Connecticut have much lower thresholds.
Irrevocable Trusts—Trusts can offer clarity, protection, and peace of mind. You decide who receives money, when, and how. They can safeguard assets from lawsuits, divorces, and bad decisions. Just be careful not to overengineer them; a gift shouldn’t be a punishment.
Incentive Trusts—These allow you to align distributions with personal growth. Reward finishing school, maintaining a job, charitable giving, or whatever values matter most to you. Used wisely, they encourage maturity without micromanagement.
Invest in Education—You can also pass along values through knowledge. 529 plans let you fund education tax-efficiently and can be set up for future generations. It’s a message that says, “I believe in you,” not just, “Here’s some money.”
Don’t Do This Alone
The best inheritance plan isn’t built in a vacuum. That’s why I’ve started offering Family Phone Calls, 10-minute, no-pressure video chats where I meet your family. No financials discussed, just an introduction. So when life gets messy, they know who to call.
Want to book one? Reach out and let’s start the legacy planning conversation. As a qualified professional family financial planner in Greater Boston, my door is always open.
Prior to investing in a 529 Plan investors should consider whether the investor’s or designated beneficiary’s home state offers any state tax or other state benefits such as financial aid, scholarship funds, and protection from creditors that are only available for investments in such state’s qualified tuition program. Withdrawals used for qualified expenses are federally tax free. Tax treatment at the state level may vary. Please consult with your tax advisor before investing. (19-LPL)
